Funny Quotes Success

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I need a good quote from my site, please help: They can be anything life-success-silver-fashion friends
Sponges grow in the ocean. This bothers me. What is the depth would it be if not? Steven Wright When I look back, it brings back so many memories. Steven Wright Racism is not born, folks, he has taught. I have a two year old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list. Denis Leary We live in a country where John Lennon eight bullets, Yoko Ono is walking beside him and not hit her. Tell me! Most people think that Denis Leary life sucks and then you die. Not me. I'm not. I think life sucks, then you get cancer, then your dog dies, your wife leaves you, the cancer is in remission, you get a new dog, you remarry, you have ten million dollars in medical bills but you work hard for 35 years and you pay it back, and then – one day – you step off a curb at Sixty-seventh Street, and BANG you get hit by a city bus and then you die. Maybe. Denis Leary I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but would have required the service fire four days to extinguish. Dolly Parton My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity. All those women out there praying for a man, and I give them my share. Rita Mae Brown Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do. Dale Carnegie Here's to you, as well as you are, and here for me, as bad as I am, but as good as you are and as bad as I am, I'm as good as you are, as bad as I am. Scottish Old Toast There is no problem so great that it can not escape. Snoopy the dog how many legs a dog have if you call its tail a leg? Four. Calling a tail a leg does not have a leg. Groucho Marx, I think, therefore I am, I think. George Carlin The evening I was perfectly beautiful. It was not that. Groucho Marx Do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same. George Bernard Shaw Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. Mark Twain
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